the edge of learning

I’m still there.

I sort of coined the edge of learning phrase to describe my sensation the years I watched my children discover knowledge. Schooling’s repetition in a new, seat-of-the-pants-type system helped reinforce what I’d learned, plus I reaped benefits catching onto things I’d totally missed first time around.

This state of enlightenment and stretching didn’t just apply to homeschooling proper. Bound up with our educational endeavors was the social aspect – we set ourselves apart to be weird in some ways, although I never kept my kids from their neighborhood friends. Some days the whole idea sparkled and chugged along beautifully. Other days everything fell to pieces and lay sniveling on the floor. Often on those days at least one of us wanted out.

I came to a place early on (not willingly, I’m sure) of recognizing this had to be voluntary on each person’s part. If my child didn’t wish to homeschool anymore, and if that wish remained strong for a period of time, I determined I would allow the change to happen. After all, I never got a choice; it was important my kids’ experience would be different.

So I had to be honest. I needed to say, “Tomorrow we can go sign you up at the school office,” and I needed to mean it. That second part was hardest, but I learned through doing so that I could let my children be to a significant extent free.

This morning my son stepped way back from a decision his dad and I have encouraged him to make. An opportunity recently came up allowing our son to take Early College classes and to remain in his Shakespeare group from Homesource, while working toward a state certified diploma. Today my son laid out for me his case for maybe choosing to say no. He sees, better than I think I ever did, the layers of the public ed. system, the machinations therein. He’s perceptive, hey, just like I’d hoped he would be.

I realized I had been saying, “It’s up to you,” without truly meaning it. But I took the plunge today and gave him my sincere blessing.

After thinking more my son has decided to stay with the state-sponsored program. For now. If tomorrow brings new issues and a different plan, I’ll seek to understand while letting this young man figure out life his own way.