“Chuck” came over today. For the first time I nearly lost it with him, and that would not have been a great scene.
I wrote about this friend of my son’s here, after Chuck was roughed up last fall, and then I posted here when things were better.
Thing is, now he’s grown to more than six feet, and Chuck is becoming pushy. Much less rational. Appearing to want to use us.
I don’t blame him if bitterness has been growing in his up-till-recently innocent heart. He’s had other scuffles with the darker side of human nature. Plus he’s nearly 21, and his life is less structured. Chuck has always loved structure.
Things have reached a point where seeing him on our front step brings out my mother bear instincts. I won’t go into detail, but I’m recognizing we can’t let Chuck inside for a while at least. Especially any of us alone oughtn’t try to deal with him. This breaks the heart and makes the socks slouch down the ankles. I mean, what if I have to take actions that bring authorities and cause restraint against this one-time little kid from my neighborhood?
Maybe I’m caught off guard here; maybe I’ve always known this day might come.
Thanks very much, Mike, for your comment that I’ve had to delete, because I realized I should use a different name for our friend. I’ll paste what you said below. This helps a lot in a situation where it’s hard to know the priorities, even when I know them.
Blogger Mike S said…
The safety of those ‘inside’ has to be the #1 priority. After that, if there’s any relationship left worth salvaging there’ll be time for that. One of the few lessons I’ve picked up along the way is that letting your guard down too low can become tragic. Even my usually docile sis-in-law who’s mentally challenged can become really scary under the right circumstances.
Hope things work out for you and for Chuck. My personal worry is generally that they’ll hurt themselves or somebody else without really meaning to. The human brain can be a tricky maze at times.
Sorry, I foolishly assumed it was an ‘alias’ type already. Hope it all works out. Never the type situation where any speedy resolution is optimal. It takes a lot of time and effort on all parts.
Thanks again, Mike. Lots of time and effort, so true. We’ll take it a day at a time.