Up on the hill. Life moves swiftly/slowly, and people shuffle and leap.
Saturday, the sun was saying, “I’m still up here.” The breeze blew, not from Alaska, but from somewhere south of Yreka. My feet and calves and shins and every part (except my knees) itched to climb.
One problem. I was on my own. Husband and daughter helping St. John’s Orthodox with all sorts of workday projects. Son busy being twenty. Two dear friends who love to walk do not savor the feel of steep inclines, no matter how the view beckons.
It was beckoning me. So I decided to go out there, to Mt. Pisgah, by my lonesome. Nothing new to spend solitary time, and yet I thought how nice conversation with a real, other person might be.
Enter Facebook, of all things. I posited telling the little (big) world there that I was planning a hike and would like someone to call, to come. I almost didn’t. Here’s why:
I have tried many things over a few recent, reinventing-myself years. A lot of them haven’t worked. Life is like that, I know. But for many previous seasons my main concerns had been two little people under my feet and wings. The project was fairly singular, the scope long-term. I felt secure. These years since my daughter moved away (the first time), I have faced many wobbly days. Even though I’ve come to not fear death any longer, I have often feared living.
That was the problem last Saturday. Self-conscious and what-iffy, I imagined no one responding to my hiking request. Simply meaning nobody could or wanted to come. But looking like I wear the label “Loser.”
As I stirred eggs for an omelet breakfast, I grimaced. But then I grinned. Sometimes, once in a while, things work out. I would go for it.
Right before I put on my hiking clothes, as I tucked my camera in its bag, Ann called. She was glad I put up the notice. We made a plan.
And then it was sun and sweet air (and sore knees, later, but who cares). We conversed about life while joining ranks of vitamin-D-deprived people walking, shuffling, leaping up and down that hill.
I like the view:
from the hill
from mid-life
from the new format!
You touched on some different things here. Left me wanting more as usual.
I’m glad that things worked out, they usually do , in the end, in the very long much later end sometimes:)
and I hear you on the reaching out and having no on answer. That is a fear I share.
Thanks, Fresca, for hiking over to see it. I will try getting around to “my” blogs soon! Busy week, sick hubby, etc., etc…
Deb, thanks for your views, too, and the relating. We’re just little people, and it’s okay, because in the end we’re cared for.
you know, I couldn’t help thinking afterwards,
that I would have gone with you.
and the stained glass comment you made. perfect.
life is just so that.
Maybe someday, Deb! We’d have fun.
I saw your Facebook post and wished I could have come with you!
Oh Yay! I love it when facebook works and you don’t look like an idiot. I get comment fear sometimes, that what I say will make me look stupid. Then I remember noone can see me, and most people don’t even know me, so who cares! Glad your riskiness worked out so well. :-)
That social thing, Cecily, is really something. Thanks for jumping in about these things, too, from far away.
You, too, Sarah. Happy adventuring wherever you go this spring.